As a little girl, I never questioned why a woman had to give up her last name when she got married. I was also just something that everyone did so every woman seems to follow suit. My mother did it, her mother did it, and I am certain her mother’s mother did it. I mean, my mom’s mom still has her ex-husband’s last name and they divorced before my my mom was in high school. A couple that has the same last name is a sure sign that they are married and share kids. It is a tradition. A tradition that really doesn’t seem to make any sense anymore.
When I introduce myself, I say, Lexi Bell from Lexington, KY. This is who I am. My parents don’t live in Kentucky anymore but I’m still from there. It’s engraved into who I am just like my last name is. My last name is a part of my identity and I don't see myself every changing it, no matter the guy I meet.
I know what you are thinking, this chick is crazy. She's against marriage, she's dissing her soon to be husband by not taking his last name, what will people think?, etc. etc. etc. Let me stop you there. No way am I against marriage. In fact, I think marriage is a great thing. My parents are married and having two parents portray what a true marriage is to me growing up was essential to my upbringing. I grew up with aunts and uncles, grandparents, cousins, etc. who are all happily married. They have shown me what love is supposed to look like and how to make things work when the tides turn bad. But this stuff didn't come with taking a man's last name. In truth, I am a feminist who’s against inequality.
Women should not have to forgo their heritage and family name in order to get married. There is simply no need for it anymore. If you want to give up your last name, that’s your decision. Just like it’s my decision that I want to keep mine. Years ago, women had to take their husband's last name due to inequality and oppression. Women and men did not have the same rights. It made sense to take a man's name back then. Women were not allowed to have jobs, own property, or vote for thousands of years. You needed to be married to even feel like you had a sense of worth. Well, not anymore. Woman are powerful! We are the future of this country and beyond. The future is 100% female and I'm excited to be apart of it.
When and if I do get married in the future, which I do hope I will one day, my kid(s) will have my husbands last name. My last name is my identity, but it’s not there’s. It will be their decision on what they want to keep when they are old enough to do so. I’ve considered giving my kid(s) Bell as a middle name so they would have the chance to have both if they would like. But obviously that’s much farther down the line in life.
My last name is important to me. It is who I am and who I have been, and I don’t see myself changing it.
-- Lex --