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i just DON'T have it all together

pause // REALITY CHECK //

Having it all together and looking like you have it all together are two different things. We look around and we think to ourselves, “wow - these girls have it all together” or we think they obviously don’t. We never see that awkward in-between stage. That stage of struggle to keep up with the Jones' by those we deem to be perfection... So, we think we are weird for feeling this way and not having our whole lives planned out to the “T”.

In our current society, there seems to be this idea that it's not okay to be struggling, hurting, unmotivated, etc. You feel down on yourself for feeling this way and this just makes the whole situation worse. But you know what? It's actually NORMAL to be all of these and more. We may tweet ironic and/or sarcastic things relating to struggles and pain, but we all know that these tweets usually hit us at a much deeper level because they remind us that we are not okay. None of us are okay and that is okay.

We joke with our friends about dropping out of college (@Jacob Bushey), and although we will never actually do that… we are all struggling. Working, studying, going to class, exercising and then trying to keep a social life on top of all this and extracurriculars, clubs, organizations, committees, etc. We want to quit. To drop it all and quit -- asap. ​​

But the truth is, we never will. If you are anything like me and I'm sure some of you beautiful humans are, you just keep saying yes.

However, reflecting on this pain has shown me that I'm not the only one that is not okay. You know what that means? It's actually normal to not have your life together. Let's be honest: none of us have our lives in order. No one actually looks in the mirror everyday and says “wow - I’ve got it all together!” We all are faking it. Fake it til you make it is my motto.

I think the saddest part of all of this is that we all experience these extreme lows, but we feel like we are alone during them because we are all too scared to speak up about our pain. To strip from this perfect exterior layer that we have built about around ourselves. To actually say - hey I’m struggling with this. Or I’m not okay. It’s tough to say out loud. It makes us feel vulnerable and some of us (I know myself personally) don’t like that. It’s easier to pretend everything is okay. And when we do open up and tell someone that we are hurting, we feel like we are annoying them or bothering them.

The reality is that we aren't and we never will be alone. If we don't remind ourselves of this, then we are going to be stuck in these valleys for the rest of our lives; we'll never truly experience a high or beautiful moment because we will be dragging our lows with us in the form of a never-ending chain. If you are annoying someone with your feelings, then they truly aren't your friend. Someone else is a better listener.

Don't climb up the trench alone, do it together. Your friends, your family, your mentors, etc. Experience the reward and beauty of it together. They have been through the bad and they have been through the good. Many similar, but also many different situations. Because hey, neither of you actually have your life together, and that's perfectly okay. None of us do.

So let's all quit pretending we know what we are doing 6 months from now or even tomorrow. Lets just live for today and if we fail that test - the man up in the sky has a bigger plan for us all. God didn't bring you this far to leave you. Can I get an Amen?

-- Lex --

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